


Your Ivy Grows

by tinakennard



Category: The L Word (TV 2004)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-18 17:33:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29121981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinakennard/pseuds/tinakennard
Summary: What happened the morning after Jodi dragged Tina into the house in 5x05? What led Tina to decide to come over in 5x06 and claim the woman she loved?Let's find out.
Relationships: Tina Kennard/Bette Porter
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	Your Ivy Grows

**Author's Note:**

> Heya everyone!
> 
> Thank you so so much for your feedback on my two fics so far! I'm really getting in to writing it again and flexing that muscle. Here's another! I've tried to write this fic about 100 different times and I think I finally just have to woman up and post it. Thank you to my friend @itsuitsallforu for the prompt. I hope I did you proud!

_Pain._

That’s the first thing that crosses Tina’s mind: Pounding, blinding, insistent pain. Oh, and her head hurts too. She tries to blink her eyes open, but the slightest beam of sunlight makes her entire face feel like it's on fire. She turns her face into the pillow under her head and can’t help but smile. It smells like home.

Then she remembers.

She sits up so fast it makes her head throb. She damn near pukes then and there. God, Shane and Alice are getting a mouthful once her stomach stops turning.

She only has a fuzzy memory of Jodi bringing her back to the house. It’s mostly a blur of giggles and alcohol and finding the couch that used to be hers even more comfortable than usual.

She buries her head in her hands and curses under her breath. “Fuck.”

“You can say that again.”

Tina nearly jumps out of her skin. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit shit._ She’d had every intention of getting up early and making sure she was out of there. She isn’t ready to talk to Bette, not by a long shot.

But fate seems to be insistent they talk anyway.

“Bette…” Her name is somewhere between a prayer and a curse on Tina’s lips. “I didn’t… I didn’t realize you were awake yet.”

The brunette is sitting at the table, sipping a cup of coffee. She’s got such a casual air to her that Tina knows she’s panicking inside. That’s one of the things people get wrong about Bette: They assume her attitude means she’s confident. Tina knows that the more confident she seems, the more insecure she really feels.

Still, she’s doing a damn good job of selling it today. Tina knows better and part of her still believes it. Maybe that’s because her stomach is currently acting like a kid in a bouncy-house after one too many pixie sticks.

“How are you feeling?” Brown eyes peer at Tina from over her coffee. Tina almost catches the glimmer of concern in them. Almost.

She lets out a nervous laugh. “Me? Oh I’m great. I’m just… absolutely great.” To say her words are forced would be generous. Very generous. It’s reasons like this she’s on the production side of Hollywood.

“Tina…”

“No, I… I should get going.” The wheels in Tina’s head are starting to spin in overdrive, the all too familiar signs of an anxiety attack revving up for some action. Sweaty palms, pounding heart, turning of the stomach (though that could just be the hangover). “Be sure to thank Jodi for me!”

She’s fumbling for her keys, trying to remember what she even had on her last night. Her fingers finally close around metal and she lets out a breath of relief. She’s saved! She reaches for the doorknob, ready to make her great escape.

Bette beats her to it. Soft fingers close around Tina’s. The blonde wonders if Bette knows that by staying her hand, she’s ensured her execution.

“Why did you do it?”

Tina wants to play dumb, wants to more than anything. She also wants to wrench the door open and throw a tantrum all the way back to her car. Instead, she lets Bette gently pry her fingers from the doorknob.

The thing about Bette is that she can be so gentle. When she loves you, she treats you like you’re her whole world, like holding you is better than untold treasure. But the problem… The problem is that she doesn’t love her. She loves Jodi. She'd said it herself.

And just like that, all the pain from last night, the pain she’d gotten so fucked up to try to forget, it comes flooding right back. It hits her so hard and so suddenly that she actually lets out a strangled sort of half sound, as if the wad of emotions clawing their way up her throat has actually gotten stuck there.

Maybe they're better off there. Better that than let them come tumbling out, her broken heart spilling all over the floor.

“Answer me, Tina.” Bette’s voice was firm but loving. It hurts even more.

“Answer you what?”

“You almost never drink, and last night you get so fucked up you can’t even make it home by yourself?”

“That’s not…”

“I mean what were you thinking Tina?! What if something had happened to you?! What if Angie had seen you?”

“I wasn’t thinking about that, okay?”

“You clearly weren’t thinking at all!”

“Maybe that was the fucking point, Bette!” Finally, Tina turns, and she instantly wishes she hadn’t. She hadn’t had time to put her walls up before her eyes met Bette’s and now there she is, laid bare before the woman who had broken her heart the night before.

“Tina…”

“No…” And in five seconds flat, all the fight has gone out of her. Because there never really was any to begin with. She wants to be angry. Being angry would make this so much easier, but alas, all she feels is a deep sadness and shame and regret. So much regret. She raises a hand, needing something, anything, to put space between them.

But Bette steps forward. Once, twice, again, and before Tina knows it, she’s pressed ever so slightly against the door. She can’t help it. Her breath catches.

She doesn’t know if it’s the hangover or just the effect Bette has on her (though she’s pretty sure it’s the latter), but everything seems to move in slow motion. Bette seems to be searching for something in Tina’s gaze, and the way they look at each other feels so right and real and perfect.

Tina raises a shaking hand to Bette’s cheek. Bette leans into it without missing a beat. It’s only now that Tina realizes that concern she'd seen when she first woke up was genuine. Bette's worried about her.

“Did I do this to you?” Her voice is almost a whisper, and Tina sees the Bette she loves so deeply, the vulnerable girl who feels too much and shouts at a world that she finds unfair. A woman with so much passion, the first time they ever slept together, Tina found herself wondering if she’d ever really had sex before if _that_ was what it was supposed to feel like.

“I…” Tina’s voice comes out in a rasp, torn between the two parts of herself. There’s the part that wants to scream, _‘Yes! Yes, you did! You did this when you told me you were in love with her!’_ , but there’s also the part that wants to make it okay, that thinks maybe if she can fix this for them, she can fix everything else too. “No,” she finally settles on, “I did this to myself.”

Bette shakes her head, and Tina can’t help but admire how curly her hair is this morning. She’s always loved her hair curly. She looks beautiful with any style. That's just how Bette is, but her natural curls are Tina’s favorite. Gentle fingers brush one away from Bette’s face, and if they were together, this is where Tina would kiss her.

But they're not.

“Don’t lie to me, Tina. Don’t spare my feelings like that. I did this. I didn’t realize… I was hurt when you told me you regretted our kiss, and I thought… I thought…”

“I regretted it because you have a _girlfriend_ , Bette, an amazing, talented, brilliant girlfriend who is just as passionate as you are. I regretted it because… As much as I enjoyed it and wanted it and have missed you with everything in me… You’re _in love_ with Jodi, and I won’t be the one who screws that up for you. I just can’t. I won’t forgive my-“

“It wasn’t true.”

Tina blinks for a moment, brows drawing together, eyes searching Bette’s for even the slightest hint of dishonesty. She doesn’t find one. “You… what?”

“It wasn’t true.” She’s uncharacteristically quiet but sincere. “I care about her, Tina, and I _really_ don’t want to hurt her, but…”

“Don’t.” Tina shakes her head. “Don’t tell me that, please.”

“I just wanted to…”

“I know, and I appreciate that, but…I won’t be the reason you hurt her, especially if you’re not sure.” She squeezes Bette’s hand and the brunette squeezes back.

“I wish I could be.”

“I know. It’s okay…”

Tina moves to pull away, to let her fingers slip through Bette’s to let her go, but again, Bette surprises her. Her fingers tighten. Bette takes Tina’s cheek in her hand in that equal blend of force and gentleness only Bette can manage. The brunette takes a step forward and Tina can’t breathe.

Their lips are nearly touching when Bette speaks again.

“I miss you too.”

They kiss, and it’s gentle and tender and loving in a way that nearly makes Tina collapse. There’s passion lingering underneath, of course, but that’s not what this is. This is hello… Or rather… Hello again.

It’s not nearly enough for either of them, but it’s a start. They linger there for a moment, forehead to forehead, just breathing in each others’ essence.

“Bette?” Jodi’s voice breaks them away from each other. Tina knows she should stay, stand her ground and say hi to Jodi, thank her for making sure she was safe last night, but right now, she can’t bear to see Bette with her. So when the woman she loves turns to greet the girlfriend that isn’t her, she slips out the door. She runs.

But for the first time in a long time, she feels like she has something to run to. Or at the very least, she has a snowball’s chance in hell. Tina respects Jodi. She doesn’t want to hurt her either, but as she raises her fingers to her lips, still buzzing with an electric current, she thinks that maybe, just maybe, it’s time she does something for herself.

And with that, the gears in her mind begin to spin. Kit is taking Angie to Disney Land tomorrow… And it’s decided. She’ll come early tomorrow, feel it out.

Time to take her fate into her own hands.

**Author's Note:**

> Because we all know Tina came over to the house for the stir fry scene knowing exactly what she wanted, right?
> 
> Anyway, there are a thousand different things I could have seen them saying to each other, but I just tried to let it flow and this is what came out. I hope you all enjoyed it!


End file.
